Day Two!

So I'm currently on day two. I actually made it through an entire day, although sleep was lacking.. I was wide awake and strung out until at least 3am (which sucked because I had to get up at 7:20 for work today). Hopefully I'll make it through tonight as well...although I'm planning on getting HAMMERED because its been two weeks since I last drank. And sometimes you don't always make the best decisions when you are drunk... Work today was pretty awful. I'll leave it at that. Sayonara folks!

Day One!

Day One of quitting yets continues... It's 10:23pm. This is the longest I've made it yet (I know...pathetic..) but at least I'm trying! I think I'm going to crack open a Moose light to satisfy my craving of relaxing after work (I just got home from a long 9 1/2 hour shift). Work wasn't bad today/tonight tho. I got to work on the window change. It's a great window this time, looks awesome!! Our district manager was also doing a store visit today but... I'm extremely extremely disappointed that she hasn't mentioned any promotion yet on my part... I mean, I've been doing the job of assistant manager since February but I just don't get assistant manager pay. I'm starting to get really frustrated with American Eagle. I definitely believe I'm ready for the promotion. If I didn't want to work at American Eagle I wouldn't still be there. I now have a degree and a $30 000 student loan. If I wanted to make a crap load of money and pay off my debts, I could move and find another job..and actual career that will be in my degree field.. but I love AE. I'm not ready to leave it, but I also don't know how much longer I can stick around if they are going to keep stringing me along... It's just not fair. Dave told me I'm the only keyholder that closes the store on their own (apparently they aren't technically allowed to close and do the deposit) but thats the way I was trained.. I've been missing out on so much money this year..

Anyways...Calgary? Do I want to actually just DO IT?

Sad/Frustrated/Angry/Happy?

I can't do it... I can't do this... I need to know that I'm wanted.

La de da de da.

I am home from a great relaxing weekend spent with Trav in his moncton apartment with his psycho kitty whom I adore. It was just the weekend I needed to really get away but I've come to realise the only solution I have left is to run away. Run away from my problems and far far away. The problems and the solutions... The one I feel alive around, because I don't feel alive enough.

Sleep tonight may be an issue. The after-weekend sleep adjustment isn't ever fun. And I'm not talking about the cause being from drinking. I'm talking about the cause being a lack of Trav in my bed...

Who the fuck is Leon?

Ever since I've moved into this house, on a fairly regular basis I hear someone outside yelling the name Leon. But dragging it out real long...like, Leeeeeeeeeooooooooooon! Who the fuck is Leon and where is he always disappearing to??!

And why is it that I always hear the words I crave to hear when they are drunken ramblings but never when they aren't?

I get to spend the weekend in Moncton with Phil and Trav's kitten...I'm pumped!

On cloud 9.

Everything feels good right now. Real good. Too good to be true. I feel butterflies dancing in my stomach when I think of him. It feels like a girlie crush. Although different. It scares me how I feel. Things can't really be going this well in all aspects of my life, can they? Something is not as it seems. But what? I think I'm getting my promotion at work very soon as well. Hopefully this is the end of them dragging me around as keyholder when I've been doing the daily responsiblities of assistant manager all along. Eeeeeeee.. I'm very antsy for friday. I want it here, now. I want to be there, now..

A much needed lazy day.

I'm finding a hard time keeping up with the responsibility of having a blog..aka daily or almost daily updates. However, it seems my life in blog form is lacking. I'm going to have to work a little bit harder. Why do I even care? Because its fun to go back months and years later and read how you were feeling a certain day. And sometimes it helps to write things out. (Hence a lot of 'moody confused gill' posts you read a lot) Anyways.... point is, I'm going to try harder. It's all I can do!

Its finally my day off after a long 6 day work stretch that seemed to last a year. It was crammed full of floorsets and windows. My body is sore and run down. I'm sick and hacking up yellowish phlegm. Delish... I have also been an insomniac lately...I cannot fall asleep before 5 or 6am. Last night was the same, except I decided to opt for a sleepover in the living room with Heat, Waking Life, chips, neo citron and scratch tickets. Which I won 7 dollars on! ;) I hope getting to sleep tonight isn't too much of a hassle...since I work at 8am tomorrow morning. It will be the first day shift I've had in a long long while!

I'm looking forward to the weekends festivities...in a different city.

Fun fact of the day:

Did you know that its legal to drive a school bus if you make it the "c ool bus" by taking out the s and h out of the word school, paint it and take out all but 4 seats?

Getting away!

I had an amazing last couple weekends involving roadtrips, bars, different cities and friends! Last weekend I head to SJ with Farva, Heat and Laura where we met up with Phil and Trav and stayed at the Delta. I met up with old friends whom I've missed dearly and many drinks were consumed. There were bathroom adventures, getting locked out of the hotel room at 5am, disappearing Heat and hurricanes! This weekend consisted of a roadtrip with Heat to Moncton where we stayed with Trav and went out to the O2 and to some random Salsa bar that should have been closed (because it was past 2am) but it wasn't. They also served us drinks. I love roadtrips!