Confession

I'm the girl who loves to motivate others to do their best.  I love giving others compliments and making people feel great about themselves.  So why can't I do this with my own self?  I feel like a hypocrite.  I feel as if I'm defined to the world by my looks.  I know I shouldn't feel this way.  I feel like I have nothing to offer the world.  But I also know this isn't true.  Then why the self hatred?  I'm sick of hating myself but I can't seem to stop.  I'm like stuck in this downward spiral where I want to love myself but no matter what I do I just can't get over how much I hate everything about myself.  Sometimes I look in the mirror and think I look "pretty" but it never lasts long enough.  And then the fact that I hate myself because I'm not the ideal beauty (ie no boobs whatsoever, no womanly hips, no butt, big nose, etc..) makes me feel superficial which makes me feel equally bad.  Yes I'm skinny, but I'd kill to have womanly curves.  I want to feel like a woman.  I look like a little girl.  Then I have these crazy thoughts and it makes me feel even more like a little girl.  Get over it, that's what others would say.  But I don't know how.  I wish I did...  My moods are so over the place it makes me feel like I don't even have personality to back up my lack of 'woman-Ness'.  This isn't true, but it's how I feel.  I'm usually the super smiley girl that giggles after every sentence.  But I feel as if that's a lie and I'm just hiding the way I really feel.  Then I blow up after holding in my anxiety, usually at the ones I love.  How do I help myself? How does one really learn self love and acceptance?