2 lbs away from the goal I thought I would never ever reach!

I must really follow that general saying that people gain more weight in the winter (ie. put on fat for hibernation) and lose weight in the summer.. I have struggled to lose those 15 lbs I had put on allllll winter, with no luck (other than a 5lb fluctuation up and down). I started out in April at 119. I'm now 107 as of today, with only going to the gym once a week or so! I think its the fact that I'm not eating junk food from the science library vending machines while sitting in class all day or on my ass in the library. My job at American Eagle requires that I'm on my feet all day.. Plus the heat makes you not want to eat a lot. Yeah... that must be why I've lost all this weight effortlessly! I'm going to try my hardest not to let this weight creep back up on me like it does every friggin winter!! I'm 2 lbs from my goal weight and finally starting to feel happier about myself. I think I should celebrate with getting my navel pierced.. ;)

Life of Gill

My party for my birthday was a total hit! There were so many people here that the cops came. And everyone knows a party isn't a party without the cops!

I got waaaay too drunk last night...lets just leave it at that. This morning was no fun at all.

About the apartment... Forough, Agni and I drew names for the rooms before seeing the place. Of course I get the small room with the stairway and garbage dumpster outside the window. Thats just my luck. When I saw it, I just didn't want to cram myself and all my junk into such a small dark room for 12 months of my life. We tried to find other places to look at in the paper in our price range/area of choice but we had no luck. Forough decided to trade me and I now have the large room! (I am going to pay more than everyone else for it) The rest of the apartment is awesome too... it has a HUGE living room and a big porch! I'm so pumped to move into it!! I am just going to have to get used to walking a lot more since the university is not right in my back yard (like it basically was all year!)

Worst Day Ever!

I had such a bad day yesterday...

-- I started my period super early which means I'll have another one a week after I finish... (yuck!)
-- I got pulled over for doing 125km/hr in a 100 zone -- luckily got away with only a warning (phew!)
-- We put $270 into fixing my car in Hampton...drove back to Fredericton so I could go to work only to have my car not start and I had to borrow money from Trevor so I could cab to work (thumbs down to that!)

AND I just found out from Forough that the small bedroom in the apartment we were going to get (I didn't get to see it because I was stuck with a broken car in Kingston) has garbage dumpsters outside the window so you won't be able to open the window at all ... I don't think I can live there if I get stuck with that room for a whole 12 months! Now I don't know what to do because we are suppose to sign the lease today.. Uggghhhh!

I feel so frustrated!!

My birthday "Muff Dive", as promised!

Here it is folks... pictures from my first birthday muff dive. Excited? You better be! Drum roll...

Pre-dive...




Mid-dive...

Random-ness is sometimes a good thing.

I am missing my boy alot right now.
I have to do part of the Back-To-School presentation at our staff meeting in front of 35 staff members and I'm nervous!
I am having a (hopefully) huge bash here on saturday night for my birthday and all are welcome.
Twenty-three feels the same as twenty-two.
I cleaned my room today and you can see the floor.
I wish my boy could attend my party but he has to work.
I am getting lots of hours at AE lately.
I put my thawing nalgene bottle on top of my schedule on my desk today after work and now my schedule is permanently imprinted on my desk.
I need to sleep because I have to get up at 7:45am tomorrow but I am not tired.
My birthday was actually a lot of FUN and I got to muff dive at the Ale House (pictures will be posted in the not too near distant future when Amanda decides to upload them onto her computer)

This photo is from the party my boy had on his lawn during one of the Oilers games -- he is showing that the score is 3 - 0 for the Oilers.

Today is the day!

Today I am officially 23 years of age. Actually, if you wanted to get technical, I won't be 23 until 1:03pm this afternoon (at the moment, my laptop tells me it's 10:46am). I couldn't care less that it's my birthday today. I'm feeling indifferent. Maybe its the fact that my mom woke me up at 10 this morning to drive my half-broken car to the mechanic and I'm tired and grumpy. Or the fact that I'm sitting in the kitchen in shorts and a tank top that I slept in and if anyone knows my house in kingston, they would know its a freezer. But my hoodie is in the washing machine right now. Anyways, who gives a crap that its my birthday. Today is just like any other day.

I worked at AE last night from 4-10. I got to drive my mom's car up to work. It was great, I could actually drive much faster than the usual 110 without feeling like my car was going to fall apart! At work I got to sit out back in the stock room and put together cool upper displays in wooden crates that will be used during our Back-To-School floorset this saturday. I was feeling kinda down when I got to work so I was happy that I didn't have to deal with any customers! Right after work I hit the road again and came home (probably driving much faster than I should have been in the dark). Luckily for my hawk-like-eyes I saw the deer in the ditch before it had a chance to run in front of me. So here we go again, another day stranded in Kingston.

I wish I could help all the people in pain and saddness right now. But I feel powerless. I feel like I can't even comfort my boyfriend. And if you guys know me, you know that I always try to help everyone and when I can't it makes me feel useless. I use to be told I gave good advice and that I was easy to talk to. I can understand first hand what people are going through right now, I've been through it before only two years ago. I know its hard and will take a while for normality but I just want to see everyone smile again...

My birthday luck.

This is the way things seem to go with my birthdays ---

19th bday -- horrible
20th bday -- fun!
21st bday -- HORRIBLE
22nd bday -- FUN!
....

What luck will my birthday bring this year? I can almost guess with all the bad things happening. I'm also going to be stuck in Kingston and probably alone - I had to drive my mom's car to fredericton today to go to work and i have to drive it back home tonight after I'm done, so that she has it to go to a doctors appointment early tomorrow. I hope my car gets fixed soon...

I hate DIALUP!

I'm home alone in Kingston right now, bored out of my friggin mind. Why don't you drive somewhere, you may ask? Well -- my car broke down last night so I'm stranded here in the middle of the friggin woods! Anyways, this fun and exciting weekend I had planned turned out to be one of the worst weekends yet. So much for a great two days off in a row. Trev's friend, a fellow hamptonian died on friday night in PEI. He was hit by a drunk driver. He was only 20, and from what Trevor said he had so much going for him. It's such a sin. I feel terrible for all who knew him.

Amanda and I were still going to try to make the best of the day, by going out with Ang to the new renovated 3 mile (or the Max??) I was at her house all afternoon and realised I forgot a few things at my house so we hopped in my car to go to my house -- everything seemed fine and dandy. We pumped up the tunes, began to arise from our slump throughout the day and get hyper. I stopped at the Iriving in Hampton to pick up a Rockstar energy drink since I wouldn't be drinking (I was DD) -- I started my car again and about 3 minutes later I realised I had a couple warning lights flashing -- one was this exclamation point surrounded by double brackets and the other was a battery light. I then realised I had lost my power steering. I pulled over and stopped my car in a church parking lot. Oh the random adventures Amanda and I have in my car! I pulled out the manual that came with my car (that I had NEVER opened) and looked up the warning lights. I could not find the exclamation point, but the battery warning light told me that basically my car was going to die and to turn off the fans, radio, lights (which at the time was not possible, it was dark!) etc and drive to the nearest Toyota dealer or mechanic. HAHAHAHA!!! I managed to get my car back to my house, but it also started to overheat on the way there.... Basically that put the final stop on our night and I just borrowed my moms car to drive Amanda home, with a quick stop at Trevs to see how he was doing.

And that brings me to being stranded here in kingston, bored out of my mind. It's funny that I was just having a conversaton with the neighbours last night while having a few drinks with them in the parking lot about how I thought my car was going to die any day now...

Ok, I'm going to go downstairs and watch some boring daytime boonie-vision (aka 3 channels). It will probably take me at least 10 minutes to post this also because of the dial-up so that will kill some more time.

Sisterly love

Awww I just love this picture of me and my little sis Becca from last night!! I'm only updating because I'm too damn excited to go home and see Amanda (and Trevor too of course) that I can't sleeeeeep yet, even tho I set my alarm for 6 hours from now to get up! Eeeeeek!

a tad bit hungover + under the weather = not a good combination!

After my 9 hour shift at American Eagle yesterday, I went out with Claire, my sis and their friends to Dolans. We befriended the neighbours and I met a guy who used to work at AE before I did. Apparently one time when he was working, someone had shit in the fitting room stall and rolled it up into a ball of receipts. He told me to ask Rob about it because it really did happen! That is just utterly disgusting! Anyways, Dolans was a good time -- I've also come to the conclusion that I love to run when I'm intoxicated. Thats right. No one can stop me, I just like to run off! Claire and I did some running with the boys that live/were visiting next door on the way home -- I also run whenever I'm walking home with Trev and Justin from the bars -- I have even been known to run when I'm alone walking home at 3am!

Amanda is finally home from Denmark!! I miss that girl sooo very much! I am heading home tomorrow (canada day) to see her and go to her family BBQ. Then I imagine we will head uptown to see what is on the go, and possibly to the 3mile to see the new renovations they did on it! I'm so excited! I think it will be an awesome weekend! Did I mention yet that this is the first time all summer that I have two days off in a row? I'm pumped! It's like a mini-vacation for moi!

6 days to my big 2-3!

I don't know if work really didn't need me to come in today or if Peter just felt bad because he said I didn't even sound like Gill on the phone and he was really confused at first. That's because I'm dreadfully ill, thats right, you heard it. AGAIN. I don't know what is up with my immune system but this is the fourth time I've been sick since the March break. That's just not right! I'm glad I have today to rest and try to recouperate. It's funny too because whenever I start up a new gym routine and start getting into the habit of going daily and for a substantial length of time I always get sick and I have to give it up! Why does that happen?! It's frustrating!! I so would have gone today if I didn't feel like crap -- if my throat was sore and dry and feel like its closing up -- if I wasn't sore all over and have a fever (or so it feels like it). I think I'm going to buy a thermometer since I get sick so much!

I finally got in to see Kelly today and boy did it suck. First of all I had to wake up really early to go down; I'm sick; all I did was throw on a sweater and jeans and leave my house. Kelly gave me a talking to for a good 10 minutes and tried to tell me she was going to take my $310 cheque and go cash it and keep half for herself. I rebuttled with "but I worked those hours". Apparently she didn't give a shit because she had to "waste" money training me. Whatever, its my money! So she went on about keeping half the money for herself for a good 5 minutes and then gave me the option: "So, what are you going to do? Take the whole cheque or leave half for me?" I didn't respond right away but obviously she is not getting a dime of my hard earned cash! She then threw a fit and said take the damn cheque, and don't step foot in this store ever again! Good riddance!"

At least its over with now. I went directly to the bank and deposited it in the ATM. I hope there is no way she can still cancel the cheque on me or something to fuck me over!

Betrayed?

It's funny how you think you got over something from the past with someone --- become supposed "good friends" with them -- then find out from someone else they had done something wrong that makes you feel hurt and betrayed. I feel like she had no respect for me. In the words of Mulder, how I feel can be summed up as "Trust No One".

On a lighter note, I went to Agni's "dress up party" on friday night. It was fun to see all my university girls again! And Vy, this picture is for you! And check out the shoes Agni was wearing! We thought you would be proud :)

Feeling stressed.

I feel really bizarre and stressed out right now about nothing. I hate these days when I become an insomniac and all my fears of loneliness and rejection come out of hiding. I am stressed out with what I want to do with my life in the fall -- do I want to go back to school full time (8 brutal upper level Bio courses) and get my honours in Biology --- or do I want to go back in the fall part time (2 courses) and just finish my basic Biology Major. Will I get into grad school without doing an honours? I don't think I have the motivation right now to study my ass off for another entire year. This is going to be year 6 for me. I've been doing this so long. I am also stressed out about facing Kelly and picking up my cheque (and being the procrastinator that I am, I keep putting it off, just making me worry about it even more!) I couldn't sleep at all last night, but for no real reason. Even though I was tired because I worked all day and even managed to fit some room cleaning in there, I could not get my mind to turn off and get the real sleep I needed. I probably fell asleep around 3am and awoke every hour -- finally rising from my restless slumber at 8am. Now I sit here, typing in my blog... my eyes hurt from lack of sleep but when I close them I cannot fall asleep. Perhaps what I am feeling right now is due to the onset of PMS (haha) Here are some symptoms of PMS I found on a website:

- fatigue and trouble sleeping
- headache
- appetite changes or food cravings
- joint or muscle pain
- tension, irritability, mood swings or crying spells (hence the reason avoiding Kelly right now may be a good thing... She'll probably yell and make me cry!!)
- anxiety or depression

I think right now I am experiencing all of these symptoms, although some worse than others.. Goddamn sometimes I wish I wasn't a girl!

And to top it all off - I think my car is going to blow up or something. It's not acting right. When I start the engine it sputters and hardly revs up to normal... I keep thinking its going to stall on me. Ugh! I don't need it breaking down on me but I don't have a mechanic in fredericton nor do I know where to take it since I'm a girl and I don't want someone ripping me off!

FRIIIIIGGGGGG!!!!!!!

I wish a certain someone was here to cheer me up!

I think I need to hit up the gym in a bit -- hopefully that will elevate my mood -- unless my car doesn't start or breaks down ....

I like the way you move

I don't know why I even have a blog becuase lately I haven't had any thoughts to write about. Lets see... Trev left for treeplanting today for "real" this time - - I worked all day today from 2-11 at American Eagle. Oh, and I quit Kellys. I have to go face Kelly and wait until she finishes yelling at me (and probably making me cry) before I can get my cheque from her since she's holding it hostage. Stupid psycho bitch. I hate her! Anyways, she was unfair. When I was first hired I told her she had to work around my AE schedule because I've been there longer and I asked her to give me set hours but she never did either. Basically what ended up happening was all my shifts would overlap and collide and it was too much of a hassle.

No boy before this one has ever done this for me......

a quickie!

It's been a really long time since I've updated and I know Jenn is getting antsy, waiting for a new post! I don't really have much to say, other than I've been a workaholic (yet I still have no $$) and I have been drinking waaaay too much/often (which may explain the no $$). Trev came home early from treeplanting and surprised me - and he leaves again tomorrow. This time he leaves for about 2 weeks (instead of 5 days). I'm going to miss him like crazy!!

Sorry for the short update but I'll update later when I think of something to talk about!

Happy 22nd Birthday Kate!

It's my old roommates birthday today!


I am heading down to the Cap/Phoenix to see her soon and wish her a very special birthday! I miss living with her lots. She was a great roommate and we always had random adventures together.. Some worth noting:

- the time we had to clean our storage/garbage room with scarves tied around our faces
- dressing up as superheros on a friday afternoon
- our TP adventure to Sunset Grocery
- playing with the ratties
- hanging out on the tiny balcony
- eating chips and watching silly girlie movies

I miss our apartment on Montgomery/Regent!

I will follow you into the dark

I was just chattin with Megs on msn, and she sent me these pictures...

The first one is a lovely roommate picture from the school year - From left to right: Me, Megs, Catherine (Sheehan), Jenn and Jess. I love this picture so much!



The second picture is a picture of my car window when it was smashed in by a beer bottle. Can you believe a beer bottle did THIS and didn't even break!?!? I hate drunk idiots! (If you look closely you can see the intact beer bottle on the drivers seat)


Last time I was at the gym (3 days ago) I weighed myself...110.5! That means I've lost 9lbs since April without doing much at all! I can fit into some of my old clothes again (aka my AE jean skirt from last summer) and I can tell by looking at that roommate picture I posted that my face is not as full anymore. Its funny because I hardly go to the gym but I guess I have started eating a little bit healthier..and I imagine that working and being on your feet all day is better than being stuck in the library studying, sitting in class and eating junk food from the vending machines in the science library!!

Anyways - I'm really missing Trevor way way more than I thought I would. I know it has only been 4 days since he left for tree planting but it feels so much longer! My double bed is so empty and lonely at night.

Your beautiful, its true!

I got a new job without hardly lifting a finger at Kellys Cafe/Bouldons on Regent St. They didn't even give me an interview, it was awesome! I've worked two shifts so far. It's ok I guess, but I love AE far more! I imagine it will grow on me as I get the hang of it. Last night I worked at Kellys from 5-11, got to bed by 1:15...woke up this morning at 5:35....worked at Kellys from 7am-2 and now I'm waiting for my shift at AE to start at 5:30-10. Gross. I'm hyped on free kellys fair trade coffeeeeeee! Its the only way I'll make it through today! Trev is gone for a week tree-planting and making tons-0-money. I'm jealous. Oh well, he left his pop here so I'm drinking it, MUAHAHAAA! I'm so desparate for money to pay bills and buy groceries... So desparate that right now I'm eating an "everything" bagel, spread with globs of mashed avocado/tomato/lime juice/salt. Not exactly the tastiest creation I've ever made but filling none the less.... Tomorrow will be grocery day because I get paid from AE tonight.

My walls are built of stone...

.... but are starting to crack. I feel rediculously giddy right now. I haven't felt like this in soo sooo long! The only place I want to be right now is down the street, not here alone in my bed. I guess that's my own fault though. I should have stayed. No wait, I'm blaming it on my wall of stone! I'm so freaked out by how I feel right now but at the same time it's awesome. I'm lovin the cards that I've been dealt. Life is splendid.

On another note, I look like a lobster. Just call me Lobster Gilly. My whole back is bright red. I layed out at the beach sans sunscreen all afternoon. I know, smart one eh? I'm paying for it now! I'm sitting here with a sticky back covered with aloe vera gel. Yummilicious!

Scared to go downstairs in your own house...

So mario really is a character. It can mildly entertaining yet frightening at the same time. I think he's tried to hit on every one of us here at 672 Graham - in particular Claire and Becca. Becca was his newest victim with a presentation of pretty flowers for her birthday and left the above letter on our board downstairs.....

Can you say "creepola?!"

Last night I made Bec a big eggless chocolate cake (It was truly delish!) and we had some people here for predrinks before ending up downtown at Dolans. I apparently told some guy off because he made her cry. I didn't even know him! I'm a good older sister;)