I feel really bizarre and stressed out right now about nothing. I hate these days when I become an insomniac and all my fears of loneliness and rejection come out of hiding. I am stressed out with what I want to do with my life in the fall -- do I want to go back to school full time (8 brutal upper level Bio courses) and get my honours in Biology --- or do I want to go back in the fall part time (2 courses) and just finish my basic Biology Major. Will I get into grad school without doing an honours? I don't think I have the motivation right now to study my ass off for another entire year. This is going to be year 6 for me. I've been doing this so long. I am also stressed out about facing Kelly and picking up my cheque (and being the procrastinator that I am, I keep putting it off, just making me worry about it even more!) I couldn't sleep at all last night, but for no real reason. Even though I was tired because I worked all day and even managed to fit some room cleaning in there, I could not get my mind to turn off and get the real sleep I needed. I probably fell asleep around 3am and awoke every hour -- finally rising from my restless slumber at 8am. Now I sit here, typing in my blog... my eyes hurt from lack of sleep but when I close them I cannot fall asleep. Perhaps what I am feeling right now is due to the onset of PMS (haha) Here are some symptoms of PMS I found on a website:
- fatigue and trouble sleeping
- headache
- appetite changes or food cravings
- joint or muscle pain
- tension, irritability, mood swings or crying spells (hence the reason avoiding Kelly right now may be a good thing... She'll probably yell and make me cry!!)
- anxiety or depression
I think right now I am experiencing all of these symptoms, although some worse than others.. Goddamn sometimes I wish I wasn't a girl!
And to top it all off - I think my car is going to blow up or something. It's not acting right. When I start the engine it sputters and hardly revs up to normal... I keep thinking its going to stall on me. Ugh! I don't need it breaking down on me but I don't have a mechanic in fredericton nor do I know where to take it since I'm a girl and I don't want someone ripping me off!
FRIIIIIGGGGGG!!!!!!!
I wish a certain someone was here to cheer me up!
I think I need to hit up the gym in a bit -- hopefully that will elevate my mood -- unless my car doesn't start or breaks down ....
1 comment:
i know you DEFINITELY need an honours if you wanna do a masters later in life for arts programs, but i'm no so sure about science.
if you feel like a break, maybe getting the degree would be ideal, and if you need to do an honours for your ma, you can do it later and have no consequences. in the meantime, you'd be able to get a lot of better jobs with a bsc for sure.
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