I have no title.

So perhaps, even though I rarely drink anymore, my stomach cannot handle hard liquor. I had another puke mishap on friday night after ONLY drinking 3/4 of a pint of rum...(Normally I could drink more before any puke mishaps!) Maybe I'll switch my occasional binge drinking to beer for a bit and see how that treats me.

ERRRR I got a parking ticket today for $25. BLAH! Its because I was parked on the side of the street in front of my house because we only have one parking spot here (and four of us have cars!). The street sign says you can only park for 2 hours at a time but we always park there and rarely get tickets. It sucks. Where the hell am I suppose to park? The shitty part was I left for work 20 minutes after the ticket was written.

Tomorrow is my day off from work, finally. I plan on being semi-productive with a trip to the laundromat and cleaning out old Bessie of my belongings. I'm donating her to the Kidney Foundation since she is out of commission. I'm going to miss her though, she was my first real car. She got me where I needed to go (mostly) in those 3 great years! I also plan on visiting the waterfalls that are apparently a ways drive (and walk) out past Kilarney Lake... I haven't been there yet, even though its been planned in the past. Hopefully we make it this time!

So, to follow up with the post from earlier this morning...Far Far Away hopefully will be next year in Toronto, Halifax or even...a corporation in a state in the US... A plan is brewing in my head. I need to make things happen or I will always be stuck in this rut.

I hear sirens..>I'm in the sunporch with Miray, Reid and "puddles". Its crazy how much action I see and hear while living downtown.

Down the bumpy road..

I feel like all my progress is being set back. I hate 1-10 shifts. They give me time to think and reflect and not want to crawl out of bed and be all chipper at work. I always feel down like this when I work close shifts. I hate it. I need to get out of this place. Far, far away.

Snapping back into reality...

Saturday was an eventful afternoon. My mom, Becca and I went out for lunch at Isaacs Way, then to the mall where my mom bought me a hoodie and then some groceries. She's too good to me. Sunday was spent beaching with Laura, and then on an adventure to my staff bbq/Rob's going away party out in Mactaquac at Robyns house. It was quite the random weekend! I spent the day back at work, but the good news is I have tomorrow off again!! Laura and I are taking a trip to the falls!

Stellar thumbs up to Gillard: its the end of the night and I'm about to go to bed -- and I've only had two smokes today! :) Also, 5 days!

Need to disappear.

Well here I am again. Blogging in the sunporch. It's saturday morning. I didn't end up drinking last night due to lack of funds and the fact that I woke up yesterday morning to puke up bright yellow stomach acids into a bag in the middle of the floor in the kitchen because someone was in the shower at 8:30am. My mom is coming up today to take my sister and I out to lunch. A delicious free meal? I can't wait! I hope she will buy me a few groceries and give me a bit of cash as well;) I'm toooooo broke to function. I have a dollar to my name for another week!

Its been 2 days. How long can I make it?

Oiiiiiiiii.

I feel so angry right now. Angry and frustrated and hurt. I want to be happy gill again.

The 8 day work streak has finally come to an end. I have the weekend off but no money...so it looks like this may be a very boring weekend off. Last night was suppose to be a dolans night but I guess I drank 3/4 of a quart of vodka. I blacked the entire night out! Oiiiiiiii!

Bloggin on the rooftop.

I'm roofing it with heat right now. Its a gorgeous night. The sun is just disappearing behind the sillouette of trees. Work today was good. I met Dave-- he seems ok. Hard to say at this point in time. I didn't get to really talk to him that much, he was busy with Nicole and Rob. I got nice complement at work today that made my day -- I was told my talk during the meeting was great and that it didn't sound like I was talking too fast (like I thought I was doing!) because I do that when I get really excited about stuff anyways. haha!

The weather forecast is calling for rain on my weekend off. Of course its going to rain. The funny thing is I was joking around with the guy that works at Hardys subs in the mall saying how it was probably going to rain on my weekend off because it was so beautiful out right now!!! Dun Dun Duuunnnn....

Randooooom..

Weeelll...its been a really random last 5 days, consisting of a spree-of random sleepovers. Today consisted of laying in bed until 3pm. Work flew by. The Back to school (BTS) meeting on sunday went great! I didn't do as bad as I thought I was going to, seeing as I never do any public speaking because I hate it. Rob even told me I did a good job :) I can't believe he's leaving Store 955. As much as he stresses me out I LOVE HIM. American eagle won't be the same. He's leaving on the 27th. I also have to do another interview to be promoted to assistant manager with Judith (the district manager) and Dave (the new store manager who I hopefully get to meet tomorrow!). Ugh, I hate interviews. Work seems to be a lot of my life right now. Although it seems so messed up with all these promotions and such. I also feel like I'm doing a lot of other people's work at AE right now. Maybe things will get better, but they will get worse before they do. It also seems like my life outside of work is pretty messed up lately too. I need a break. I want someone by my side.

Success!

I'm done day 1 of my 8 day work stretch. Its going to be a long hull but I'll manage. Kev, a visual expert from the Moncton store was in our store for a long period of time today giving us a million amazing tips and tricks for the visual displays and merchandising. I fell in love with him instantly, although he was in his late 30s and I'm pretty sure gay. But it doesn't matter! As dumb as this sounds I want to have his job or something in the visual merchandising aspect of AE someday... But anyways, moral of the story is he got Nicole and I super pumped and motivated to make all these substantial improvements to our store!

I'm also signing the lease for the house with Vanessa on 669 Scully tomorrow! I'm pumped that this is going to be set in stone in less than 13 hours! Such a huge weight off my shoulders, thats for sure!

I get paid soon, yippeeeee! (It will be gone by the end of the weekend..bills bills bills..)

The good inbetween the bad.

After work today I headed down to Nicole's house to see the room available in September. The house is huge and gorgeous! It has a front deck and a back deck, as well as a decent sized backyard! It is also two stories, with 3 bedrooms upstairs, and one downstairs, with a kitchen, dining room and living room! I am in love! I would be living with Vanessa, and her friends from Aldo whom I do not know yet, Ashley and Kristen. I'm going to let her know ASAP that I want the room so I hope this all works out! I'm feeling very optimistic! I need to know that I have a place and I'm not going to be "the littlest hobo" again.

I've also only had 3 smokes today, 2 of which I bummed. Thats really excellent for me, go Gill!

Just another game..

Its monday. I'm enjoying a nice relaxing sit on the futon couch (thanks to Farva-Farv for getting us a new one!). It's also my day off, after working all weekend. Saturday night was a pretty random night... I almost got thrown off the deck at the boys place on Graham by a drunk Chris Morrison, only to be saved by some random standing on the stairs who caught me as I fell! He also stepped on my feet numerous amounts of times and slammed a metal door into my elbow. Ouch. I also had many drunk encounters with the boy. And when I say drunk, he was hammed and I was sober. As much as I wanted to stay, I know it was only because he was too drunk to function. The night ended in McD's with Heat and Miray, followed by a few yets.

I'm going to make some milk-less KD (only because I'm out of milk...)

Its crazy how much insanity has been going on. I hope everything turns out ok with everyone and everything... I don't know what I can really do to help.

I'm just chillin in the living room at Charlotte right now with Heat, Randy and Rumple, awaiting my turn for a shower. I got up this morning after 5 hours of sleep at 7:40am. I got ready for work in 10 minutes and was there by 8 when I was to begin work. So a shower this morning was not an option. Probably just going to chill at Graham later tonight but I have to work at 8am tomorrow (blahhhh ten hour shift!) so I can't go too hardcore.

I'm not really feeling the blog thing right now but I'll highlight my birthday adventure. Tuesday at 5pm Heat, Laura and I went on a birthday adventure to Moncton. We convinced Trav to lend us his keys to his place in Moncton so we could stay the night for free. We shopped for a bit, then headed over to Trav's place, later to be met by Chester (aka Texas!). Chester directed us (with me the birthday girl being the driver haha) to a wicked bar called Captain Dans that is located on the wharf in Shediac. It was two levels and there were cute boys as far as the eye could see! The next day consisted of a shopping adventure at Champlain place followed by a Parlee Beach adventure joined by Trav and Kerri who drove up that morning. The rest of the night after arriving back home in Fredericton is pretty much a blurrrrr. I drank. A lot. End of story.

Other random events of the adventure:
- car yetis
- "Texas, can you take the heat?"
- Giant Lobster pictures
- "Your not allowed to smoke out here!"
- Kicked the drinker outside.

The queen of bad decisions.

Only a couple close people to me have heard the nitty gritty details of my so-called-life and the most life altering events that I've gone through so far. I don't tell very many people. Some things are hard to talk about. A few people know the jist of things but I believe there is only one person I've actually gone into extreme details with, that person being one of my roommates. I've been told by her that I'm a very strong person for making it through everything but I really don't think I'm a strong person at all. All the terrible decisions I have been making and continue to make to this day don't back that up. Today is going to be crazy intense and I don't know if I'm going to be able to handle it. There comes a time when I'm just going to explode. I feel stressed, confused, worried...

I never thought once that my life would turn out like this. Everything is in shambles. EVERYTHING. I don't feel that there is one positive thing in my life right now. Everything is so messed up.

And I just keep making the same bad decisions time after time, even though I know better.

I'll write a birthday blog adventure when I don't feel like I'm going to puke because I'm so depressed and stressed out.

Happy Canada Day!

It always seems that whenever I have lots and lots to write about, I never take the time to actually sit down and write. And that leads me to this, wanting to write but the thoughts just aren't there.

Anyways, I got my car! The freedom I've experienced already in just the last 4 days has been unreal and I'm LOVING it. Heat and Laura joined me for the adventure home to the kingston peninsula and met my mom and where I grew up. Our adventure back was even better, consisting of ferry rides and silly pictures; car yetis on a random kingston road; sing-alongs; and Kilarney!

Kerri, Miray and I also made a batch of jello shooters at the boys place last night for
"you honk we drink" today at Graham. Unfortunately I can't join in on the festivities as the mall has decided it will remain open on Canada Day and of course I'm suckered into working from 2-6. Hopefully the party will not be busted before I get there!

My girls on our Kingston trip (I believe this picture was taken on the ferry?)