At least I still have my double chocolate chip cookies..

I don't know who actually reads this... but since this is my blog I'm allowed to write about how I feel. Right now I feel really hurt, and angry and alone. I can't believe I let my guard down for this boy, when I was so hesitant at first.. I'm angry at myself for letting myself develop these feelings and I'm angry that I'm so hurt by him. I'm angry that I took his birthday weekend off from work so that I could celebrate with him. I wish I never started to fall for him, I wish we had never dated so we could be friends and I wouldn't be losing him. I'm hurt that he doesn't have the feelings for me that I do for him. I want to say I hate him but I don't. I don't want to be alone, I don't want to have no one that cares about me. I really really liked him. Why does this always happen. Even though I could see this coming these past few days it still really hurts. Having your heart ripped out and stomped on sucks. I wish I had a remote that rewinds the past so that I could act differently or something to change the outcome of the situation. I don't know. I don't know why he doesn't care about me. I don't know why he doesn't want to be with me. I don't understand. I'm so hurt. He's losing the best thing that ever happened to him. I tried to be the best girlfriend he's ever had but I guess I just wasn't enough. I just need to crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep. I hate my life. Whyyyyy....