Tuesday, July 25, 2006

At least I still have my double chocolate chip cookies..

I don't know who actually reads this... but since this is my blog I'm allowed to write about how I feel. Right now I feel really hurt, and angry and alone. I can't believe I let my guard down for this boy, when I was so hesitant at first.. I'm angry at myself for letting myself develop these feelings and I'm angry that I'm so hurt by him. I'm angry that I took his birthday weekend off from work so that I could celebrate with him. I wish I never started to fall for him, I wish we had never dated so we could be friends and I wouldn't be losing him. I'm hurt that he doesn't have the feelings for me that I do for him. I want to say I hate him but I don't. I don't want to be alone, I don't want to have no one that cares about me. I really really liked him. Why does this always happen. Even though I could see this coming these past few days it still really hurts. Having your heart ripped out and stomped on sucks. I wish I had a remote that rewinds the past so that I could act differently or something to change the outcome of the situation. I don't know. I don't know why he doesn't care about me. I don't know why he doesn't want to be with me. I don't understand. I'm so hurt. He's losing the best thing that ever happened to him. I tried to be the best girlfriend he's ever had but I guess I just wasn't enough. I just need to crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep. I hate my life. Whyyyyy....

3 comments:

Shelley said...

your wonderful gilly, don't you forget that!

Anonymous said...

Hey Gill,
I can so relate right now. I feel the exact same way. Brad and I also broke up last week and I am still asking why. I just dont get it. Boys suck and they don't know what they are missing out on cuz we are wicked girls!! I hope you feel better soon!!

Ashley

Anonymous said...

Hey gillymac
call me anytime, im here, especially for sex and the city and chip and dip nights, im always up for them.
i heart you. you are a wonderful girl and have a great spirit!
xo
K